What happened to 5 years ago?

What a week! Gus is half way to his 5 months! Whoho! We have shots next week and he has been doing more tummy time and rolling around these days.

He grows like a week! I am in shock how long he has gotten in the last couple weeks. At daycare today he had two major blow outs so the lovely ladies had to change his outfits. The outfits they had as back ups were a bit too small! He has outgrown them, so he came home in this short sleeved pants falling off cowboy outfit.. sigh... mom has to provide day care some bigger back up clothes!

So 5 years ago I would have never guessed this is where I would be in my life. In fact let's see.. 2005, I was leaving San Diego, I had made Chief Petty Officer, Neil proposed to me, I was a partier, I was enjoying life to the max, I snowboarded religiously during the winters, and I was transferred to Texas. I had a click... we had friends. I had a going away dinner, I miss them, I miss OB, I miss having people. I never would have thought I would be bearing my breasts in front of other women in a small room at such an exclusive agency three times a day (Mommy room at work), I never thought I would be in a "fixer upper" that we are still renovating a year and a half later (what were we thinking, never again), I didn't think my life would change so dramatically... but it did. It's unrecognizable, my people got to busy with their own lives, and we moved away.. it happens. Oh it happens!

Here I don't have people.. yet. But instead of standing by as I did in Texas I started a meetup.com group. We will see how it goes, I have 15 mommies! Yeah! I am excited to make some new friends at similar points in life!

Now Gus is the highlight of my life, but I want to share him! Men are so different about it, I hope to share some adult conversation that doesn't revolve around work or babies (or at least all the time). I have not had a conversation in such a long time, I just don't know what I would say, I probably would revert to talk of babies! Haha..

Sigh, remember the past, enjoy the moment, and look forward to the future! I suppose I need that as a new mantra! I just feel like it's going by too fast! And we are not enjoying it with the people we love the most. Today, go remind someone you love them, and why they are such a big part of your life. . . because before you know it, it's five years later and you haven't spoken in months and maybe years!

How many toys do you buy?

Gustave is Mr. Independent these days. He is playing more and more on his own without having to be bothered with others. His mirror and himself laugh and play, its adorable. It's neat to see the transition as he begins to interact with the world around him, it's amazing!

As for his interaction, we have purchased him more than his fair share of little toys. He has things that ding, sing, dong, rattle, roll, talk, spell his name for him, tell him the colors in Spanish, soft things, chewy things, things that wrachet, and the list seems to go on! We love getting him things! He seems to have quiet a few favorites.. and they are usually the ones he can grasp. The ball in the picture above (Baby Einstein), and a crinkly lion (Bright Start). He seems to really love those to in particular because he can get them to his mouth. Everything goes in his mouth! He is even putting fingers in his mouth these days. About a week ago only the back of his fist would make it, but now fingers.. we will see where that goes, I suppose it will morph into thumb sucking... just so cute. He sucks on everything... Neil's arm, my belly when I am getting ready, fingers, hands, knuckles.. it's so cute. I suppose some of it is soothing. \

So how many toys are too much.. well we said two days ago that we would not over do it on the toys and then I go ahead and spend $50 in toys yesterday (baby laptop, Leap Frog's Scout, and I don't even know what.. but it must have been cute and useful). I think Gus likes the diversity and we can figure out what he likes best too.

He has also been working those vocal cords out. He will yell, gurgle, squeal (seems to be his favorite) and expects you to talk to him. he will look on to see what you will do next. So I give him conversation.. baby conversation, and even laughing, Neil and I can get him laughing by laughing at him. It's wild fun. I had no idea as babies we learn to laugh so much. It's great to see the smiles and it's completely heart warming. My world stops and I get lost in his gaze. He will stop nursing sometimes and just look up and wait for me to say something. It's so loving and there is such a connection there it's just amazing.

*Special sentiments. As we are born, others move on. Souls interchange and life goes on in mind and heart. I want to send my blessings to my friends who have lost the center of their universe, and know we are thinking of you. There is nothing one can say, just that we love you.

Snookie can't be Chilean!

Just disgraceful! Indignant! Yuck!

http://www.popeater.com/2010/02/17/snooki-not-italian-chilean-jersey-shore/

She's apparently Chilean! Grr... she's such class... I hate to be put in a similar category... ugh. Nature vs. nurture? ugh.. still can't undo what the media does. Who lets these people on TV? I mean who goes by nicknames like JWOWW and SNOOKIE? What is that? Don't even tell me we are getting older? Will my son wear pink? Is it a generation gap I just won't be able to understand.

Oh the things our kids will put us through in time... I suppose I woun't understand just as my mother didn't when I was a teen.. and somehow I am still so excited to watch Gus grow everyday and imagine what he will be every stage of the way.

My First Night Out... without Gus....

So I was flip flopping about whether to go out or not last night but I am glad I did. I was invited (by Ms. Chrystalene) to the local Miss Expose Fitness (http://www.xposefitness.com/index.shtml) competition and it was great entertainment! Three categories can explain the nature of the event... chair and floor, pole princess and pole diva. It was so fun to watch, talent, strength and creativity! I am so hooked! I might go try a class at some point!

So I was out without Gus... I hated leaving him, and I tried to make it quick. I gave him a quick nursing at 1945 before I stepped out the door and left him with dad and plenty of milk in the fridge. I immediately reveled in the freedom of just me and my alpine radio in the truck (HD no less.. hubby installed HD receiver), and had some fun with myself.. I felt a rush of excitement I was doing something I had not done in a long time - going out on a Friday night. I felt some guilt about leaving Neil and Gus... for different reasons but I knew that I needed a change of scenery. Got to the gym and there were drinks but I opted for water - they didn't have anything yummy for my taste. And I found the girls. We were all invited by Chrystalene to root on one of her friends that she body painted for the competition. We all know Chrystalene for a variety of different reasons and everyone has such wonderful energy about them.

The show was great, there were about 8 competitors and they all looked like they were having so much fun doing their routines. It was just neat. Then after we packed it up and went to the Blue Martini - but they didn't have big enough table for us, then we went to Chevys and they were closing so they wouldn't seat us at the bar or otherwise, and then couldn't think of anything else that wasn't down town (and we didn't want to battle parking) so we ended up at the Double T diner... and we had a wonderful gathering and we ate what we felt like eating and enjoyed good conversation.

Did I miss Gus.. yes, but I didn't feel the overwhelming need to check in with him. I did wonder how dad was doing with him but I just pushed the thoughts out of my head and only thought positive and how much fun this was and it would be a while before I get to do it again. Sigh...

Moms... if you don't get out... make the time and find a sitter if dad isn't available! It was worth it, but I had my fill... even if I never got to that rum and coke I was hoping for. Water served it's purpose.. oh what did I have at the diner... of course... something yumm... carrot cake! (But it didn't have enough rasisins).

Gus is getting so much bigger and more interactive. He tries to copy when you talk to him sometimes, and he gets so excited over nothing and has so much fun. He is a bit independant now and we enjoy the time that gives us to do things around the house (although the house looks like a tornado ripped through it).

Time to get cleaning!

First there was poop and then there was Dad!

PS. Thank Aunt Cathy and Uncle Dick for the little red car, it's a hit!

POOP!
How does poop win every time? Because it happens so often. Little Gus is now 4 months old and he is pooping about once a day. Seems normal enough for him and well yesterday he didn't poop. But at 3 am when he was laying next to me fussing about dried boogers... he let it rip, and not a little either, explosive, and somehow just outside his diaper too. I think dad helped put that night time diaper on... hmm. Gets better... he does it again during today.. and sure enough outside the outfit.. who changed him last? Guess... no really guess... dad. Yup. I am not even going to comment on his diapering skills though... it's not worth the fuss.

More on Dad.
He's outside installing some high tech HD radio device so I can listen to the radio without the crackle. Not sure what I did to merit a new car radio receiver, but ok, I will take it and revel in the fact that he loves me and this is his weird way of showing it (that and the lovely Norman Love chocolates I got for Valentines).

So speaking of dads and babies, I tend to see a lot of families having dad, get up to do a feeding once a night to help with mom.. but how do you do it without waking dad? We co sleep most of the time but I try to get him in his bed some times but rather than hear him cry and cry and fuss many times I will just put him in bed with us and problem solved, he nurses and goes to sleep.

Now it's not for a lack of milk in the fridge (I seem to produce about 5 extra ounces a day that the little man doesn't need), but eh.. I just don't know how to ask dad to either do more with the baby or do more in the house, but that he can't have his cake and eat it too and have me serve him dinner every night... I might as well give up and buy him a silver platter... I love him and I guess this is how I show him I love him? (think of the tone that Anchorman uses when he's talking to his dog Baxter).

OK well anyways, too much love to argue, we both seem to avoid any confrontation because I am overly defensive and Neil just doesn't like talking about things when they seem to come up. Not sure how to better communicate but I guess Men and Women do have different ways of talking... is that to be overcome? Or should men go back to being the hunters and women return to the huts with babes and stick to foraging?

Don't get me wrong, dad is super cute with the little man, I just don't know how to better balance it all. Maybe I am trying and or expecting too much.

Being a working mom.
Sucks. Period. People look at you differently from the day you announce your pregnancy. They think that all of a sudden you plan on being less motivated on purpose and that you will never earn your keep again. But then the other mothers in the work place seem to let you "in" to the new club of photo sharing and story swapping. It's so weird, but with so many women in the work place it makes it slightly easier. In the Navy I think so far it's been a bit of a challenge and when the newness wears off and people begin to forget, then it will be easier for me again. Right now I think I am under such scrutiny. I already feel that my next evaluation is already set in motion based on my family. It's weird. I also find myself calmer at work, but that might be the oxytocin doing it's thing, since I am still breast feeding exclusively, I still get the pumping high.

So I have been trying to attend www.meetups.com groups (Hip mama's) but seems to me that there is too many stay at home moms that would rather do things during the day, which I get, and wish I could stay at home too. But I was thinking of starting my own meet up... ambitious working moms of Annapolis Unite!

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LIttle known facts about me

Home again, and starting to get stir crazy... wanna get to know me a bit?

I like wearing shoes.. which was NOT always the case
Yup, I get up, put on my cobians. I get the morning going and then on my way to the shower I only take them off just outside the tub, and promptly put them back on when I get out after I had dried my feet. I love these flippies in particular, they are super soft and worn out. I might have to get another pair. It's weird I know. In junior high after my dad passed away my family and I went on vacation to Turkey. Yes, we loved world travel as a family. And when we stopped in Ephesus... I refused to wear my shoes... so there I was walking around a very remains of an ancient city.. bare foot. I remember it hurting but I kept my mouth shut.. I was a bit of a hippie. I do love being barefoot in the summer though... maybe it's all the construction in my house? Hmm... I just don't like shoes.. too constricting.
Mail is the highlight of my day (even when I lived at home home).
I love mail. It's been 4 days without mail... it's so sad. I know I mostly get bills and junk but that occasional little piece of personal mail makes it all worth it! I like ordering stuff off the internet because it means I will get a package.. So ha! I keep my own mail coming. Sigh.. what happened to the days of pen pals? I think I will find a new pen pal. Even on the internet, we are so connected, yet so distracted. After school and even college I recall running out to the mail box, it was never too far... just to see what came. It's like a little present every day!

I like pulling out my extraneous hair. So primal.
Does anyone tweeze leg hair? I rationalize that I cannot get them all but it's kinda like a stress reliever. I know someone else who used to do it too on the phone when we were teens. .. so I know I am not the only one. I mean.. it's relaxing in a weird sort of self preening way. Maybe that's why monkies preen? Nah... must be a primal thing... I just am one of those people that answers those calls. Maybe I should start screening primal calls... eh.. nah.

I like big words.
Yup, love them. I have a book that teaches me words... grown up words. I get excited when I get to use one. I also get sad when they get used against me and I have to look the up.. like that "caustic" one that was worked against me... grrr. I still learned a new word, Yippie~

I love to bake.
If you didn't know.. I loooove cooking. I mean really love cooking. But only when there is someone to eat it. It's strange... if I know hubby doesn't want it, then I don't make it either.. it's boring. But if I can bring baked goods to work, I get excited like a kid.

Do you ever get so excited for no reason and feel like running or jumping? I wonder if it's happening more often because I am not exercising and using this pent up energy. I feel like a total kiddie! I get choked up even. It's fun.

poop in hand

Gus pooped everywhere last night! We had to laugh... we were on the bed... and Gus had pooed... so I got everything ready got the diaper half off... and sure enough.. a little fart made some yellow bubbles... we laughed, Neil couldn't believe how much gas he had.. and then pffffttt... poop in hand, up my sleeves, but missed the bed! Yeah!!

But then there of course is more... as soon as I clean him up, get him ready then comes the puke... I had nursed him a while and then he wasn't feeling too good I guess, but he let it rip and from my shoulder to the ground it had sounded like I had dropped a bowl of soup, with chunks.

The fun parts of being mom! Oh I laughed after I had changed into my third night shirt! So funny... we are such messy little creatures.

Snow snow snow!!! I can't believe how much snow we got.. it's somewhere between 20 and 30 inches!

I still have no hearing in my right ear which drives me crazy but Gus is doing significantly better in day care this past week. He is taking his full bottles of 4 oz each! I am so proud of him! He must be feeling a lot better. At night his boogers still drive him nuts though and we have to give him a nasal lavage and a little massage... saline drops rock! Huge boogers come out when we used them.

Gus' new thing this past week is grabbing items in his reach. If something is on him or in his vicinity he will grab it and bring it to his face. Sometimes he chews on it (like the blanket or the taggies) or he will just make funny sounds with it. He even swats at things that dangle over his head, especially the octopus with the rattle on it. He holds his hands a lot, which I guess is all in his developmental range! Yeah!

But one of the most significant thing he did last week was play a game of copy cat! He was soooo cute... making some squeaky noises with his mouth so i decided to play a long and copy him. He then again copied me back, we went back and forth for about 5 minutes. He is hilarious. We laughed. He also has been copying laughter. When my mom was here last weekend was the second time he did that, and yesterday he did it again for a third time. When you laugh at him he gets hysterical with laughter, as long as you are laughing.. it's like he's copying.. but he belly laughs! It's overly overly cute.

Neil got him to sit up a bit yesterday, I suppose he is almost at sitting up age, I am excited for him, he will be able to sit and play! I think he will enjoy the world a lot better. Especially when he's frustrated with the view of the ceiling.

For nighttime romps this kid is out by 8 pm.. there seems to be a window though and if we miss it, he's up till 10! Grr. So I definitely try to get him sleeping by 730. Seems to be the golden time for him. He will stay asleep until we dress him for day care but then goes back to sleep for the ride in normally. He sleeps a lot during the day, guess babies need lots of sleeping for lots of growing. He's almost four months.. next week we will go to the doc again for weight, length and another round of shots. None to happy about that, he felt miserable for a few days after the last ones. Yuck. Maybe I will have dad take him.. well no, I have the boob.. and he liked nursing afterward to calm him down. eh. We will see.

Well off to make something warm. It's chilly out and the snow I think is insulated us in and all but it's still nippy. Gus is whining too... must attend to the little cries.