21 Weeks: Attack of Sad.

It's Sunday AGAIN! We are 21 weeks along now~ and the babe is supposed to be weighting in at 3/4 pounds! He's been kicking up a storm too!

It's WILD! As the weeks keep passing I can't believe the changes to my body! It's still so amazing, nature is amazing! My belly is definitely sticking out (from where I am sitting!) but sometimes I am shocked there is still so much to go and how much more my body will continue to change in order to carry this tike around! None of my pre-pregnancy clothes truly are comfortable any more, except for a pair of Nike work out pants, but now it's shorts weather and I am going to have to purchase a pair! It's just so incredible to be two! I am no longer me, I am we... it's pretty neat and all at the same time it's such a part of the normal life cycle!

Attack of Sad. So these mood swings are wild and come on just like when you are getting sick. I was having an ok morning at work, taking care of business prior to heading to Spanish class at 1030 a.m. on Friday. I hop in my truck, half way through my 10 minute drive I feel overwhelming sadness and frustration. I feel I can't cope. I put the radio on, that doesn't distract me, I try to think about work things, that doesn't work, I call Neil and the tears come. So now I am crying about nothing much, the thoughts in my head about why people are so mean and horrible don't leave my mind, poor Neil can't really do much about it, but I ened up falling to pieces. I can't go to class... I can't focus on anything.. only sad things and things that have been frustrating me (work, house, hunger, being rushed). Soooo I can't go to class, I can't compose myself. Neil and I go get lunch so I can calm down but I am still feeling "on edge". Tears come and go, frustration and sad lurking in my soul. We go to the leadership program graduation and that distracts me, I have Sailors graduating and I am happy for them. But now it's p.m. I have missed class. I had done all my homework too. I was prepared! Darn it. So it's weird, I get "attack of sad" now and again. It's almost amazing to feel it coming, Neil comforts me sometimes, other times I just go walk the mall or try to read a book. TV works best though, really distracts my anxiety. So no solid panic attack since December but I still get some anxiety some evenings.

So back to happier thoughts and moments. The kitchen is almost done... The last couple cabinets should be in today and we can voe to start installing the floor! So exciting! We still have so much to do.

Bought our first baby clothes this past week too! Baby clothes!!! THere is a store in our town that's going out of business, she carries all european clothes, very quality. We spent about 100 dollars there... eek.. but we got some adorable pieces!!! We also got some used items for a lot less from a gal we work with... so starting to collect some winter pieces so we are prepared. The registry is underway too! We are registered at Babies R Us... it seemed to be the thing to do and it's also a good way to give us a shopping list! Fun fun stuff! Got all the invitations for the shower made... we are actually doing a co-ed shower hosted by me and hubby... we are so excited. I can't say that enough apparently but we really are. I just can't wait to meet this little man in my belly!!!

Ok well time to get today started. I have to go do laundry out in town since our water system has a part out for repair. Basically our water is still useable to shower and wash hands but it has heavy iron content without this one piece doing it's thing... soooo a few more days, we are waiting for it to get back here from the Water Right people.

Have a great WEEK!!!