Saturday, March 6, 2010

(we have this ad on our wall in the "mommy room")

My hair is falling out
My boobs are floppy, I could hold many markers
(before I could barely hold a pencil)
There is a crease under my cheeks
(and not the ones on my face)
I have to specially dry that crease after the shower
Every 2 hrs (at work) I wrangle plastic tubes, bottles, and go topless!
Estrogen dumping makes me moodier
Jeans still don't fit, I hate my uniform

So there we were talking about how our bodies take on such great changes in shape, chemistry and even allergies. As if it's not bad enough we can't be with our little angels all day long we have to revel in all the changes he or she brought us in a little closet of a room with our machines (brrmmm brrmmmm suck brmmm brrmmm suck as they go).
Laughing after she told me this, but one of the gals I pump with, she had a new allergy start up last week. She gets hives. And today she didn't come in to work earlier because she claimed she had "marge simpson" lips. Poor thing, she has a new allergy that she can't figure out. I told her to tell everyone she got botox. Then I imagined the scene and laughed the rest of the day, bless her heart.
As for clothing, at least all the civilian moms get to wear comfy clothes, in order to pump at work, I have to assemble parts, connect tubes, prepare some paper towels for the milk that drips everywhere, unzip my jacket (because I refuse to let people see me without it - too fatty fat), unbutton my blouse without my ribbons ripping skin off my hands and arms, pull up my undershirt, hope my belt buckle doesn't fall off (because they are not made well) and cross fingers to not get milk on anything while holding these two suction cups to my bare breasts, and I still get milk on my shirt and pants. Just when you get comfy someone else walks in (another mom) and I always feel a slight awkwardness and the need to turn a little away because the room is super small and you feel like you are in each others laps where you might as well be comparing nipple color. Sigh.. funny stuff. The things we do. I love my little Gustave.
Speaking of, he got 4 shots today. Saw a couple tears (we never see him shed a tear). He is about 4 and a half months old. He weights just at 20 lbs, he is 27.5 inches long and his head circumfrence is 16.5 inches. Doc said something like 98 percentile for his height and weight so I guess that is good good.


HarmSkills said...

you are doing awesome girl! he is growing and thriving! Post some new pics please!

sux about the uniform... never thought about that...

lynne said...

You are HILARIOUS. I thoroughly enjoy your blog and your honesty is humbling. I never thought about everything that goes into pumping milk at work! I'm in awe. You go girl!