Twenty Ten!

It's yet again another year, and I have so much to be grateful for. I sit here in my dining room watching Gustave sleep on his video monitor (I left him in our bed after his 5 am nursing) and he sounds like he may be stirring.. nope.. still sleeping. I eat my coffee flavored oatmeal (I forgot to take a coffee cup out of my keurig-) thinking all the wonderful things I am grateful for.

GUS
Gus is amazing, and weighing in about 17+ pounds by now and nearly 3 months old (11 Jan he will be 3 months) he can roll over (when he feels like it), he is trying to sit up (which looks like a very awkward sit up), and he loves to be "standing" in our laps. I had no idea how "big" he was for a baby his age until people brought it to our attention, so I looked up some baby growth charts.. and sure enough he's in the 90thish percentile... so yessire.. he's a big'un!

He has started to laugh, he smiles at everyone... and I mean everyone.. in the mall he's a flirt. He's starting to see further away and it's wonderful to watch all the developments. He's begining to really grab at stuff... it's so cute to watch his daddy put things into his hands and watch him wave them around and then try to eat them. Soooo cute.. I am so in love with the little bug, I can't imagine him not being in my life.

Work.. poo
Work has not changed, office politics, frownie people, negative energy... eh... I find myself surprised at my lack of interest in the office. I was so "gung-ho" and now.. eh.. I would rather be home taking care of Gus in his early years. But we don't have that option. The Navy has a pilot program to let people take a long vacation (up to 2 years) but with no pay... and unfortunately we can't do that right now until we get rid of the house in Texas... yes.. we still own a house in Texas... and it's finally on the market after my lousy tenants destroyed it. We had to put so much money into it (about 10K) to get it back in order... ugh... glad that negative stuff is behind me. My tenant was a mother of three and her hubby was an invalid. My previous neighbor and myself truly think she was a crack addict... and man she used to say some nasty things to me. Oh well... took her to court.. and she owes me forever now... I doubt we will ever see that money back.

Back to happy thoughts.. I took the day off! LOL! Yup.. I went back for two days, took today off and am back to work tomorrow again. I will slowly take on responsibility again but I want to make sure if I need a day with Gus during the week that I will take it damn it! I miss all our day time nursing sessions.. so quiet, so cozy, just gazing at him while he does the most natural thing.

His eyes so far are still blue too... and they are so deep.. I love just looking at them. Even now as he sleeps, I can't wait until he wakes up so we can play, he's almost due for some more mother's milk too. I have been so fortunate with the milk too. I have so much I am able to save about 5 ounces a day in the freezer that he never gets too. I guess all the extra pumping has paid off and I have an extra supply. I found a place to donate to once I am in abundance (I think I have about 100+ ounces... they had to move to the deep freeze, just took too much space in the freezer..!!!).

Do any of you mommies still have terrible gas? I seem to just have some horrible things coming from my rear. Might be the veg diet, but... oh well... I guess after birth the body changes so much! Oh I have to get on my Wii to see how much I weigh. We dont' have a scale... so I use the Wii. I wish I could be running again, but I can't give myself the time away from Gus. I guess I will work it back in to my schedule soon enough. Awww... I can see Gus dreaming of nursing.. he is making the movements with his little chin ... I can see his dream now... suck suck suck... breath... suck suck suck... breath... so cute. I can't wait to wake him up... ok I know.. new mother here.. give me time!

sigh... if only we could have it all. I mean the respect of being mother and having a job. As women we worked so hard to get "equal rights" etc, but right I just want the right to be a mother and well... I can't. In places like Sweden and Canada they give their new moms at least a year from what I have heard.... paid! Too bad our society is still disgruntle from the feminist movement I suppose. I mean.. I am all about power to the woman, but why sacrifice one of the most natural and meaningful things you will ever do with your life? And we don't get these moments back either. He will start walking and not want to spend all the time in mommy's arms.. hehe.. call me selfish! I don't want to miss a thing and having to leave him 8 hours in Day care.. is poo.. actually it's 9 hours in daycare... ugh. I hate it. Makes me feel icky. But on the same token, I felt pretty free at work.. but I was always wondering what the little guy was up to. Did he roll over today? Did he have a conversation? Do the ladies there even try to converse with him? I love when I get Gus going.. he gaaass and makes all sorts of cute noises and converses with me. It's so cute! They say it helps build his grasp of how we communicate. Eh.. I can hear him breathing on the monitor.. awww.. Ok, well time for me to get a bit organized, catch up on some dishes... I just can't believe how much time the house demanded from me... I just had no idea that it would be like this.

I love it.

To all the mothers out there... we rock!