Cups-r-us? Gals only pls!

This is mostly for Alisha, so she better be reading.. So here are the infamous girls... filling their threads in utmost glory. Some say they will grow throughout these miracle months, others have said they didn't at all until their milk comes in... well I am then gonna have an interesting time being top heavy after being rather flat all my life. So we have moved from A's to C's in a matter of two months.. not even. It's a day shy of week 10 and looks like we are stable but waking next to these monstrosities is new to me, I almost scare myself. Belly is starting to stick out too even though it doesn't look it much from the outside. But my pants are fitting quiet oddly and my hips are def out further than they were before... So Alisha, if you drink to anything on St. Pats... drink some for me and the girls!

HUNGRY!

It's week 8 and a half of our pregnancy, and it's all so magical... I can't sleep cause I am not comfortable at night, I have cramps a lot, I can't pick anything heavy up... i am hungry a lot! I pee so very much! There are so many amazing things going on with my body! Even boobs grew! Apparently they were not as functional at the size they were? Maybe they were designed to not make it all about your belly! LOL! Working on the house and trying to stay away from chemicals. It's tough now that Neil has to carry the weight of getting this house ready. I feel bad... but I have been trying to do the other stuff.. errands, meals, researching prices for stuff.

Omg, it's like 7 am and I am hunnngggrrryy... I have already drank a bottle of water... and well.. have to pee again! Did I tell you I am wearing maternity uniforms already? I can't fit into my pants! My belly is just starting to poke out! It's a trip, my stomach muscles are moving out with everything! !! I got some bella bands to hold my pants up when it gets too bad with my jeans!

I have composting class at 9 and I can't wait! Off to start my elustrious day... yeah!!!!!!!! I grow babies, what's your magical talent?

Neil Snoring away

I sit here on a Sunday morning lying next to neil as he snores away... cats have his feet trapped into one corner of the bed and it's oh so funny. The kitties are who woke me up at 0600 this morning and without fail I can't return to my rest, so here I am... checking out my newest websites to be a part of... I graduated from friend recommended fertilityfriend.com to another friend recommended babycenter.com! I am so excited, as is Neil! So much to learn and so much advice to get as life moves foward and fast! I can't believe we are... pr pr pregnant! Yeah! Just saying it evokes such happy feelings! A connection with so many moms around the world! As I share the news the advice comes pouring in, and I am so grateful, I truely feel a part of the bigger picture now. Neil feels the begining of a legacy he will leave on the earthly domain. How exciting! But the cramping and strange feelings of construction in my abdomen is a trip. Feels like I did a major ab workout! I am elated! We even already have name suggestions!

Well I need to get him moving.. we need to work on this house much faster now... as in 8 months.. there will be a new arrival!

Thanks to all friends and family that are already giving us so much advice, pls keep it coming!

Real friends, real enemies.

In talking with a lovely friend of mine over lunch we discussed the things that only friends and true friends would talk about (you know who you are). Now in the mere act of having that conversation arose my deep jealousy over anyone that has a connection and why I don't I have more of these, or why don't I grow more of these. Then I realize.. I have let the Navy get in the way more often than I ever should have let it.. and just as my Japan BFF would know.. man we keep a lot of crap in our lives and need to keep more "quality" in our lives. This leads me to live the quality over quantity life. So I have no real friends that I talk to on a day to day that are close enough for me to go and throw down and cry in front of (aside from Neil, but he doesn't count). I realize that I can't just call Alisha who is floating around at sea and Mom can be overly sensitive when discussing certain topics so I have to avoid those. But Alisha.. my dear, if you are reading, I love and miss you dearly.. my dear Alisha, tatoo wearing, man-boy loving Alisha... hey some like it hot.. and we have been there done that, we are friends for life. I can call her and she will know exactly what I need to hear by the tone of my voice, not by the words that I speak and vice versa. She knows me, she has hated me, as I hated her when we first met, years passed and in our second meeting it was a match made in heaven after a few snotty looks and nasty comments. We were chemistry, friends, fight, love, hate and it was ok... we had fun, we shared good and the bad, just unconditional love. It took a while to mold but to have that in my life, I can't be luckier... and somehow as I write this I am begining to feel better. I am fortunate enough to have one true true friend for life, I have one, and what more do I need. . . I wish she lived closer and well.. that will soon happen. Then why do I feel so lonely all the time... why do I feel like I need more.. or wish I had more friends, or wish that people didn't have to be such weinies. Maybe that's it, People are weinies in general, that I have learned in the last year and a half... and now with my innocence gone and my mental state slamming into the gear of reality... yeah.. life sucks... people suck... everyone is in it for themselves. Which is not always a bad thing, maybe I have it totally wrong... maybe that's what eats me up inside... stop giving already... start taking? Nah.. that will never be me, I take what I need and I put the rest back. Now as for my temper.. that needs to keep tabs, but do I have to be medicated? Can't I just mediate or something? Can't I turn that switch in my mind off? If only.

Alisha I miss you... Stephaine, I remember our days from Jr High.... Harm, the blazer is all I need to say... we had our days... and I miss our irreplaceable innocence. Wish I could hold on to it a little longer, but everyone just tells me I am naivee.

60 and Sunny

Can you believe it was warm in Maryland today? Lazy as can be, very out of character for me, Neil and I decided to veg in bed till about 1100... very lazy of me! Got up, dressed out and realized quickly that I had over dressed as I stepped outside. It was warmer out there than it was in here! What a blessing for us! Got some bagels out, toasted them on the grill... yum! And sat in our teak furniture outside on the patio in the sun sipping coffee and enjoying our bagels. It was wonderful, made me imagine spring times here.

Also got our first load of wash in our new washer/dryer. Can't get it to work without it walking off though.. by that I mean it's a better vibrator than washing machine. Still working out that kink.

Fun times at Newport Ave. Got to go to Home Depot Expo too.. they are going out of business.. some amazing deals! Even got a griddle for the grill.. yeah! So I can make pancakes on the grill.. and this is only ever so exciting because... we still will not have a kitchen for some time.. I can't stand living without a kitchen.. I think some of the nuttiness I experience is because we have not been living in a home for a long time... just moving around and stressing too much. It's bad, and well... I am beginning to have my stress symptoms again.. ugh.

Kitties are in bed.. time to rest... and hope that the rest of the week will be warmer like it was today!

Panic?

Anxiety and Panic, debilitators! Let's talk paranoia. I am just dealing with my emotional problems.. let's call them the gremlins in my head. Basically all the crap that happened opened a pandora's box of bad guys to run out and make me feel nutty. Ok so it's not that bad, but it is in the moment. I have never felt so much anxiety or fear in such a short period of time. It's amazing how the body can do that to you and get this.. it's caused by stress! It's debilitating but it's all in the way you deal with stuff. Or at least that's what the doc says. OH well.. so dealing with that.. that was the poopy part of 2009.. the good thing is that I am dealing with it instead of hiding! Did you hear that.. yup.. I said I am no longer hiding from the gremlins, just working with them so that I can enjoy and those around me can enjoy life a bit better. Fun stuff. I feel more supported than ever, and that's mostly to do with my partner in crime. The unlikely dearie that my hbby turned out to be. It's awesome. Well hopefully 2009 I can work through it more and deal with it better. Yeah.. I hope.

Dear Diary... who thought it would be 2009 so soon?

So who reads these things anyway or are they really for me?

It's 2009 and we are working through some tougher times. It's interesting actually the times are really good. There is mixed opines. One of my favorite made up words, opine.

New house.. got it 31October. We closed on, and I was in a costume on the way to Jay and Quinn's party.. yeah! How neat. We thought we would never close on this house and really wanted to start looking for a new one, a turn the key and move in kinda house. The fear of all the work we would have to put into a foreclosure during the winter was looming and becoming a tall dark scary thought. And then it happened, just before it got too cold, the people moved and shook and all of a sudden we were proud new homeowners, again and we had to get out of the apartment cause it was costing too much. Way too much. Our renters in Texas are not paying as much as they owe and well, we needed to get started on the house. The new house.. the messy house. We got our House Hold Goods shipped to us about a week after we got the house... boxes everywhere. But we had our stuff, there was a warm fuzzy feeling about it.

Then we had to get to work... water, heat, you know some of the necessary evils that you konw will cost too much but we have to do. Sure, so we did that, the water is flowing, it's clean but it's cold. About 35 degrees cold. No hot water. Brr. It's January.. it's cold! The propane tanks were installed last weekend but we don't have all the lines ran because the crawl space under the house was flooded and now it's frozen and flooded. Our sump pump as we now are fully aware of, is not working. Lovely. So now still no hot water. But we can flush the one and only toilet we have and it's a great feeling. Before we were having to hold it or having to leave!

So the bathrooms are coming together and the plumber came and moved things around and we installed some tile and some bamboo floors, still a long ways to go, but it's started. We are learning so much.. I can build a wall! It's interesting. Oh we had our roof done in the first couple weeks, there were holes in it. So hadddd to do that quick like. And today we are having replacement windows and siding put in. It's exciting! The face will look good at least! The house was grey and the windows were wood and old. They all didn't open or close quiet right. So this will fix that. Oh we are also getting new gutters and leaf guards with the package. SO in a week these crews will be done. Yeah!

Ok so anyways between all the funny smells and funny stuff stuck to my old jeans.. it's moving and it's not overly frustrating.. ok, I lied, there are bad days. Like the day I came home to the water filter in the garage beeping and water was all over the deck.. hmm.. yeah. Fun stuff. But this weekend we might have a bedroom and new clean gleaming wonderful toilet. We will see what will happen. And a heating system would be nice too. We hope to resolve that in a couple weeks... it's freeking cold out here!