It's almost the weekend!! (and almost Week 23)

It's almost the weekend and I am going to get my blog in a bit early as Alisha will be here! Yeah!! How exciting! I get to see my bff after a couple years of her being in Japan! I can't believe how time has flown. It's surreal really. I mean I am sitting here in the couch of our second home and watching the granite counter tops being installed and it's amazing how far Neil and I have gone as a couple and how we have been growing up over the years we have known one another. I feel like it was yesterday I was cruising the Eastern Pacific on ships and pulling in to port o calls finding what trouble I could get into for the day.

<> I enjoy looking back but I don't miss those days. With my anxiety concerns from the last year and change, I have been coping with all sorts of emotions and looking at my own life to see where it's going. Some days I was feeling it was just going to end and it was all for not, for nothing, just another life, no different than that of an ant or pigeon. But lately as I have been cruising through my second trimester of pregnancy I am reveling in the good and the bad and what a wonderful future we have together as a family ahead. I was strangely focusing on the end.. and how fast it will come and what impact have I made, but I think when it comes down to it, having given the ultimate back, a new life, will fill this void and really give a feeling of fulfilment as a creature of this earth and universe. I feel the little kicks inside my vessel and wonder how well I will be able to prepare him the best for the future, planning on how to set him up the best we can as parents. I am sure we will do a wonderful job, what trials we have ahead, and how I just can't wait to meet the little man. What a blessing this is. I don't know why I never knew what a marvel this was going to be and how I would feel about it. I had so badly wanted to adopt, I just wanted to ensure someone else had a home and a chance, and I may still hope to adopt another child but being pregnant is the epitome of being woman and alive. It's just wild.

My tummy continues to stretch out and I feel the "growing pains" as the days pass. Most days I am feeling pretty good and easy going, second trimester is awesome! But it has it's moments and I must say that emotionally this is the most stable I have been in a while, and it feels great to be back in "control" somewhat of the crying and the emotional aspect. The world around me is amazing and I am reveling in it. Even my job is becoming more rewarding and the fact that promotions have passed and I was overlooked was not as painful as I thought it would be. Next year is another try. What can we say... hopefully I will be able to repair my record, but if not I have chosen to accept this path that has been chosen for me and I need to take the challenge period.

Our house is slowly coming together too! Our kitchen is functional, we have a living room, we have TV (it's all digital now isn't it??), we have a bed room and next week we will have the beginnings of the third room upstairs and hopefully the upstairs guest bath. It's all so exciting!!! The baby shower is just over a month away too and I cannot wait to see our family and friends!!!

OK, well this week has been fun and thanks for listening to my ramblings, things are good and the animals around our house have been active (saw the fox in the daytime yesterday - so neat, saw ducks this morning and one of the ospreys was flying around too!). Enjoy the pics, I did them in the mirror so they are not fabulous or anything but you get the idea! It's Week 23 pics and he's growing fast in there!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!!