Thursday, January 15, 2009

Panic?

Anxiety and Panic, debilitators! Let's talk paranoia. I am just dealing with my emotional problems.. let's call them the gremlins in my head. Basically all the crap that happened opened a pandora's box of bad guys to run out and make me feel nutty. Ok so it's not that bad, but it is in the moment. I have never felt so much anxiety or fear in such a short period of time. It's amazing how the body can do that to you and get this.. it's caused by stress! It's debilitating but it's all in the way you deal with stuff. Or at least that's what the doc says. OH well.. so dealing with that.. that was the poopy part of 2009.. the good thing is that I am dealing with it instead of hiding! Did you hear that.. yup.. I said I am no longer hiding from the gremlins, just working with them so that I can enjoy and those around me can enjoy life a bit better. Fun stuff. I feel more supported than ever, and that's mostly to do with my partner in crime. The unlikely dearie that my hbby turned out to be. It's awesome. Well hopefully 2009 I can work through it more and deal with it better. Yeah.. I hope.

Dear Diary... who thought it would be 2009 so soon?


So who reads these things anyway or are they really for me?

It's 2009 and we are working through some tougher times. It's interesting actually the times are really good. There is mixed opines. One of my favorite made up words, opine.

New house.. got it 31October. We closed on, and I was in a costume on the way to Jay and Quinn's party.. yeah! How neat. We thought we would never close on this house and really wanted to start looking for a new one, a turn the key and move in kinda house. The fear of all the work we would have to put into a foreclosure during the winter was looming and becoming a tall dark scary thought. And then it happened, just before it got too cold, the people moved and shook and all of a sudden we were proud new homeowners, again and we had to get out of the apartment cause it was costing too much. Way too much. Our renters in Texas are not paying as much as they owe and well, we needed to get started on the house. The new house.. the messy house. We got our House Hold Goods shipped to us about a week after we got the house... boxes everywhere. But we had our stuff, there was a warm fuzzy feeling about it.

Then we had to get to work... water, heat, you know some of the necessary evils that you konw will cost too much but we have to do. Sure, so we did that, the water is flowing, it's clean but it's cold. About 35 degrees cold. No hot water. Brr. It's January.. it's cold! The propane tanks were installed last weekend but we don't have all the lines ran because the crawl space under the house was flooded and now it's frozen and flooded. Our sump pump as we now are fully aware of, is not working. Lovely. So now still no hot water. But we can flush the one and only toilet we have and it's a great feeling. Before we were having to hold it or having to leave!

So the bathrooms are coming together and the plumber came and moved things around and we installed some tile and some bamboo floors, still a long ways to go, but it's started. We are learning so much.. I can build a wall! It's interesting. Oh we had our roof done in the first couple weeks, there were holes in it. So hadddd to do that quick like. And today we are having replacement windows and siding put in. It's exciting! The face will look good at least! The house was grey and the windows were wood and old. They all didn't open or close quiet right. So this will fix that. Oh we are also getting new gutters and leaf guards with the package. SO in a week these crews will be done. Yeah!

Ok so anyways between all the funny smells and funny stuff stuck to my old jeans.. it's moving and it's not overly frustrating.. ok, I lied, there are bad days. Like the day I came home to the water filter in the garage beeping and water was all over the deck.. hmm.. yeah. Fun stuff. But this weekend we might have a bedroom and new clean gleaming wonderful toilet. We will see what will happen. And a heating system would be nice too. We hope to resolve that in a couple weeks... it's freeking cold out here!